Well...its 2021...now what? Anyone else feel this way? I know some of you felt this back in 2000, I was maybe too young to remember the anticipation or ever care. This time, however, there was so much build up to 2021. "We can make it to the New Year". "I can't wait for 2020 to be over". "See you later 2020". These were all phrases I heard regularly as the year progressed. I felt it at times too. 2020 for sure had it's silver linings, monumental lessons, and extraordinary room for growth. However it was also very hard. It seemed like we just kept running into sink holes, no matter what direction we took there it was a giant sink hole waiting to swallow us. Like every time we planned something the whole universe laughed. If we even envisioned something...you get the point Seth is an insanely positive person. He can positively navigate his way out of any maze and this year every beat it out of him at times.
Some of last years highlights range from burning up our backhoe to a year filled with family camp outs. I think most people would agree that last year yielded so much (possibly much needed) family time. It made me crave it even more for the future. Raising kids on a ranch, most isolated from other people and other distractions naturally leads to more family time. However I often found myself struggling to to help my kids have a similar experience to one they might get if we lived in a city. This year with things being shut down it forced me to utilize hay stacks instead of jump houses, pond and rivers instead of swimming pools, and of course camping, camping and more camping!
Despite the joys and silver linings of 2020, it was a really tough year for the Becker's. It just felt like we couldn't catch our breath as we bounced from one upset, to the next devastation, to the next set back, to the next heart break. Neither Seth nor I are great at setting goals and we aren't really big observers of the New Years tradition of resolutions. The idea that when the last number on the date changes that something will change in real life has always seemed hokey to me. If fact I tend to loath it because of its impracticability. However this year the idea of the clock striking midnight and 2020 being no longer in existence felt good. It felt like one of those days, I am sure we have all had, where everything you touch turns rotten. Nothing goes right and you can't seem to reset either! No matter how hard you say sorry I'll do better, the next chance comes along and you mess up again....and really all you need to do is go to bed and wake up and start over. That is what New Years felt like this year. A BIG, GIANT chance to go to sleep, reset and wake up. And that is kind of what it felt like waking up on January 1st. Nothing changed...still needed to feed the chickens, break water for the horse, cows needed hay, kids needed breakfast and play time. BUT mentally it just felt like I woke up after a good long sleep from a day (year) where nothing seemed to go the way I wanted, needed, saw, anticipated, hoped for, etc.
Here we are, I woke up after a bad dream and now it is time to dream big and make it happen. There will still be stumbling blocks. There will still be upsets. There will still be a need have back-up plans, and then more back-up plans for those back-up plans. But as I learned as a missionary in South Korea...sometimes the back-up plans for those back-up plans are actually the best thing that could have happened. To instead of refusing to plan because last year laughed in my face at everything I tried to plan or do...I am going to plan, and plan back-up plans and plan back-up plans for my back-up plans!
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Chasing the Dream or Living the Dream...